The Wednesday before John’s physical death, Robert was out of town on a business trip. I was sitting on the sofa in our living room, where I usually sit when reading my Bible and praying, and I had a come-apart. This was certainly not the first time I had met with and prayed to the Lord in desperation, but this particular morning the weight of the journey of John’s depression and addiction was exceptionally heavy.

I read some, prayed some, cried some, and then began all over again for quite a long time. Near the end of my time with the Lord I was completely overwhelmed and cried out loud that this weight was too much to bear—“how much longer Lord will we have to watch our son destroy himself through drug addiction? How much longer, Lord? I don’t think I can bear this heartache and pain for even one more day.” I desperately pleaded with the Lord to intervene, to free John from the chains of addiction. But the Lord was once again silent—as He seemingly had been for years.

Little did I know that John only had three short days left to walk this earth. . . Only two more mornings to wake up to life as he knew it. . . three more days for us until our pain would intensify like we had never before experienced.

Looking back over the years of John’s addiction, I now see that God was not completely silent. He did so much for us and for John (stories for another day). But in the midst of the struggle, we could not always see His hand at work.

I am currently listening to a Bible study on the life of David, and I’ve been reminded of how David would find himself desperate and alone. And how he would cry his heart out to the Lord for help.

My friend, if you know the Lord personally, and you have found yourself in a place of desperation—cry out to God. Tell Him all about it. He is there for you.

Trust me, I know.

I know from personal experience. I know from the many examples I find in God’s Word. I know from others’ stories. He is always there for you.

Also find a loyal friend who loves God and will listen and give wise counsel when needed—perhaps a friend who has walked a similar journey. Share openly with that person. If you don’t have this friend, seek wise counsel from your pastor or a godly leader in your church. God did not mean for us to go it alone. And I’ve done that, too. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

“I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. The snares of death encompassed me; the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me; I suffered distress and anguish. Then I called on the name of the Lord: ‘O Lord, I pray, deliver my soul!’ Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.”

Psalm 116:1-9

Quoted scripture is from the ESV unless otherwise noted.