Sustained by the Sustainer

photo-1440613740265-a37aa8a61131

Over the last several weeks, I’ve been reflecting on how the Lord has abundantly and powerfully shown Himself to be strong on our behalf this year. October 7th marked nine months since John went to heaven. Seems like it’s been such a long time. But by God’s measure of time, John is just getting started.

As I’ve reflected, the word sustain has struck me anew.  I’ve been reading scripture that speaks of the Lord sustaining His children. This made me want to look more deeply into the meaning of the word. And here’s a bit of what I found:

  • to support, hold up
  • to endure without giving way or yielding
  • to keep up or keep going

A few synonyms and similar phrases:

  • brace; bear; carry; defend; feed; maintain; preserve; uphold; keep alive; keep from falling

These are strong, substantial words and phrases to define the word sustain.

People ask me from time to time, how are you doing? And I appreciate this so much because it reminds me that they still remember and are praying for us. My answer to that question is usually something like, doing OK; it’s a long process; the Lord has been faithful.

But He’s been so much more than just faithful. He has been my faithful Sustainer. The very air I breathe.

He has supported me and held me up when I’ve felt I couldn’t stand. He has helped me endure when I’ve wanted to give up. He has defended me against the lies of the enemy when I’ve wanted to believe them. He has fed me with His Word, preserved me, kept me alive, and kept me from falling away when my faith has been weak.

Yes, He has been my Sustainer. He is my Sustainer.

Another definition of sustain is—to undergo, experience, or suffer an injury, loss, etc.

According to what I’ve read in books and heard from other parents who have lost children, the death of a child is one of the most difficult of all losses. A friend who lost her son several years ago, and then more recently lost her husband told me, you always know there’s a chance that you will outlive your spouse, but you never expect to outlive your child.

Perhaps child loss is the greatest, it has certainly been the most difficult loss I’ve faced so far. But regardless, Robert and I have sustained a tremendous loss.

So as He would have it, our Sustainer God is sustaining his children who have sustained a great loss. Such a play on words, but it’s true.

He’s upholding, preserving, feeding, carrying, supporting, and maintaining those who belong to Him who are suffering and carrying a heavy weight. He’s not only doing this for me, He’s also doing it for you, brother or sister in Christ.

So I encourage you to call out to Him, lean into Him, and walk in His strength as He upholds you. Let the Word of the Lord remind you anew of your great Sustainer… (the emphasis below is mine)

Forty years you (God) sustained them (the Israelites) in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing. Their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell.  

Nehemiah 9:21

I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.

Psalm 3:5

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Psalm 55:22

(The Lord)…will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I Corinthians 1:8

Quoted scripture is from the ESV unless otherwise noted.

God’s Perfect Plan of Adoption

baby-203048__340

I was 25 when we realized we might have a problem getting pregnant. We had already been married for five years and had not really tried to prevent pregnancy for several of those years. So with this realization, an eight-year journey of infertility began.

In about our seventh year of what seemed like endless fertility tests, medications, and procedures, and then month after month of receiving the disappointing news of no pregnancy, we began to talk more seriously about adoption. Robert and I had always been open to adoption, but as you may know, that process takes a long time and costs a lot of money.

Read More »

Be Strong & Courageous

When you see someone you love hurting themselves, what is your natural instinct? It should be to stop them and to show them another way, right? But what do you do when that person won’t stop, when that person won’t change?

Many times John told me that he did not want to do the things he was doing or be the way he was as far as his addiction. He would be broken hearted over the hurt he had brought to his dad and me. He would be broken hearted over the life he was living. Yet time after time he would go to rehab and get clean, only to relapse again.

Read More »

On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand

Anyone could understand why my heart would be broken. To have lost my only child? Of course my heart is broken. And I want it to heal, but will it ever be the same?

I have a porcelain bluebird figurine that belonged to my mother. At some point in that figurine’s life it got broken. She’s no longer here to ask about it, but it looks like Momma tried to glue it back together as best she could. But just like with our hearts, once porcelain is broken it’s never put back together exactly the same. Every Spring I pull out that little bluebird to display somewhere on a table in our home, and I am reminded of my mother and how, I am sure, she tried her very best to make that figurine look as though it had never been broken.

Read More »

Those Left Behind

I added another name to my calendar yesterday. The calendar I keep to remind myself of the anniversaries of the deaths of people I want to be sure to remember. That makes three additions to that calendar since I added John’s name in January of this year.

Now another family begins the long road of grieving the loss of their precious loved one.

Read More »

The Only Recording that Matters

I put John’s death certificate in our safe deposit box last week. As I type this, I once again think—I still can’t believe this has happened. John’s death certificate.

It took several months for us to receive it in the mail. And once we knew it was on its way, every day as the mail would come, it would be the same thing—heart beating a little faster until I saw that it didn’t come that day.

Read More »

The Blessing of Sweet Memories

Addiction is a thief. It steals not only the addict’s ability to live a productive, fruitful life, but it also steals from those who love the addict and makes you blind to the person you know is underneath.

As the parent, you can find yourself so focused on trying to find help for your son or daughter, that life becomes completely submerged in all the bad that goes on around addiction. We can forget who our child really is underneath the surface.

Read More »