Through these past few months I’ve had people say to me, “I don’t know how you’ve been able to write so soon after John’s physical death”, and honestly there are days when I have thought the same thing.

On the days—and there are many—when I can’t seem to get focused enough to do anything, I am reminded that I can do nothing without Christ.

“… for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Philippians 4:11-13

The apostle Paul wrote these words to the Christians in Philippi many years ago. He said he had learned how to do these things through Christ’s strength. I am still learning.

As I push on in obedience to what I feel the Lord has asked me to do, I find myself in mental battles that have required me to press even harder into him. I often have days that all I want to do is cry and wallow in the deep sorrow I feel, and I do allow myself those days. But I can’t stay there for too long, or I’ll find that the days have turned into weeks.

So I have to remind myself again and again that the Lord has always been faithful to help me, and he will be faithful every day in the future as well.

I remember when we were in the dark days of John’s struggle with depression and addiction. I had to choose—wallow in my heartbreak and worry—which I admit I often did—or take the focus off my family’s problems and myself and serve others.

^“ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:4 

And that’s what I chose to do. I believe the Lord calls us to give our lives away for the sake of others and for the sake of the Gospel. This life we are currently living is just a mist—a pinpoint in time compared to eternity (James 4:14). There is work to be done, and Jesus is our example to follow.

“… the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Matthew 20:28

Through the years of my life, I have found that my greatest joy comes from serving others. Keeping our eyes open for ways to serve people, I believe, is an important key to our joy. Especially when life gets hard.

I feel certain that in Jesus’ humanness, there had to be days he wanted to wallow in fear, sorrow, and discouragement. In the garden of Gethsemane he sweat drops of blood (Luke 22:41-44) because he knew what he was about to go through. Even though he already knew the plan before he ever breathed one breath on this earth, he still came to serve and give his life as the ransom for many.

So I have to get myself up and find others to serve, believing that it will make a difference. In serving others, my eyes and thoughts move from me to them. If that means writing, then I’ll write. If that means leading a small group of women, then I’ll lead that group. If that means helping a family in need, then I’ll do that. But I’ll know in each situation, that I’m the one who will receive the greatest joy by looking to the interests of others.

 If you have found yourself in a place of deep disappointment, sorrow, or difficulty, take time to process and work through those hard things, but then get going. Look beyond yourself, and find a way to serve someone even in the midst of your prolonged difficulty. Don’t give into the temptation to wallow, there’s something the Lord wants you to do—someone he wants you to serve. You don’t have to look far to find the needs.

 

Quoted scripture is from the ESV unless otherwise noted.