Once someone has left this life it’s too late to do those things you wanted to do and say those things you wanted to say.

The night before John went to heaven, there was something I wish I had done, but I told myself I would tell him about it later. It was an insignificant thing, but still something I wish I had not put off.

When addiction is part of your family, it can wreak havoc in your relationships. That is what had happened with John and me through the years. When he was clean and doing well, our relationship was OK, but when he relapsed, things got rocky between us. Our best form of communication was texting. Our spoken conversations tended to be strained and sometimes got complicated.

We have a little miniature dachshund in our family named Ziggy. John loved Ziggy so much and the feeling was mutual between the two of them. Some of mine and John’s best conversations centered around our little dog—just trying to keep the dialogue open.

The weather forecast for Friday, January 6, 2017, was for snow and ice. Now Ziggy prefers warm, clear, sunny days for all of his outside activities, so much so that when the weather is not to his liking he sometimes tries to fool us into thinking he’s done “his business” when in fact he just walked around the corner and ran right back.

So when it was time for his last potty break that night, I walked outside with him to make sure he didn’t fool us again. The snow and ice had arrived and the ground was covered just enough so that as Ziggy walked and each paw broke through the icy crust, it looked as though he was walking in slow motion. I laughed to myself and thought, “John would love seeing this. I should make a video and send it to him tonight”.

But it was so cold outside I didn’t go back in to get my phone. I decided to just wait and tell him about it later.

I know this might seem like such a trivial thing, but that’s how it is once a person has left and you are no longer able to talk or text or send a video. Those little things we did or didn’t do tend to stick in our minds and play over and over again.

If you’re dealing with a son or daughter who struggles with addiction and your relationship has become strained, don’t give up. Keep talking and reaching out as much as you can.

Yes, there are those all-important boundaries you must have in place, but fight to keep communication open if at all possible. Find something that can bring you together. For John and me it was Ziggy. That little dog opened the door for many conversations between us that otherwise we may never have had.

Three Things I’m Learning

There will always be words left unsaid and things left undone when someone we love leaves us. I must work to keep my mind focused forward—on the things God still has for me to do, not on things I can do nothing about that are behind me.

“Remember not the former things… Behold, I am doing a new thing… I will make a way in the wilderness…”

Isaiah 43:18-19

As a follower of Christ, I have an enemy who is fighting hard against me to destroy any hope I have, or any joy that may try to surface. I can’t let him win these frequent battles. I must live my life based on God’s promises and the Truth of His Word.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…”

John 10:10

When I feel prompted to do something for someone; to encourage someone; to make that phone call, or whatever it might be, I’m trying to not put it off; to do it as soon as possible. We never know when today will be the last opportunity.

 “…let us not grow weary of doing good…”

Galatians 6:9

God has put you and me where we find ourselves for a reason. He has allowed what has happened in our lives for His purposes. He will not leave us alone here, and He will give us what we need to accomplish the task.

So work hard, my friend, and depend on God.

Don’t get stuck in regrets or what ifs.

God will help you as He’s helping me.

“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do.”

1 Thessalonians 5:24

Quoted scripture is from the ESV unless otherwise noted.